Totally awesome sculptures! I got this off of twitter (breathes_girl). I'm rarely there but if you want to add me feel free.
The ex FIL died over the weekend and yesterday was the funeral. i was fine through the weekend and Monday's visitation. Yesterday the shit hit the fan & i could barely handle it! It didn't help that the funeral was way longer than i anticipated though. i was figuring the service would be about 30 minutes or so. i really missed the mark! lol It was about 90 minutes! Then the internment and reception. i finally got home a little after 5 & it started at 2:30!
i volunteered to drive the ex & the kids since i didn't know how to get to the church & cemetary and he sort of did & i wasn't sure how he would react. Since i wanted him to get home safely i drove, simple. What i didn't take into account was my own reactions. I figured i'd be ok. Wrong! It was the music which got to me. i couldn't even sing & i love to sing! i think it was the associations, & my lack of grieving, with my mom's funeral that got to me.
i was just totally mentally exhausted last night *sigh*. A good night's sleep helped immensely.
The ex's dad died yesterday. i didn't know him very well, the kids didn't know him very well either *sigh*. T didn't know him very well either. His mom left his dad when T was 2 for alcoholism and remained single, after the divorce, till she died in '93.
Breakfast was nummy! Blueberry French Toast!
A wonderful Friday night! Had A over for a movie and relaxation night! His family just got larger on the 2nd so his schedule has had a major over haul and he's not taking to it very well. Relaxation and a movie is ALWAYS a good thing :D.
i'm doing OK dealing with my mom's death. i have the occasional short crying jag but nothing huge and earth shattering.
Dad's in the states again. They laid the headstone and he wanted to see it and get a picture or two. Not to mention other family members are buried nearby as well.
I got my passport in the mail on Friday. i look geeky but it'll have to do. Now i just need to get the kids passports which will take a bit of doing since i need a guarantor to get their long form birth certificates AND to get their passports! Urggg @ the Canadian government!!!!!!
Trying to talk son into putting a movie or something on. I'm sick to death of cartoons! Retro or not! We have a gazillion movies and getting either of them to watch one is mission impossible!
The other son is staying with his dad. Why i don't know since none of them really knew him very well. i'll probably take Tuesday off for the funeral so i can be there to support the kids.
That's all i can think of for now.
Some nights the computer, lap top or not, is my savior! Just because i can tune out and ignore everyone & everything in my general vicinity. i just need that quiet time in order to retain what little sanity i have left, especially when i've spent the last few hours in the company of a loud chatterbox!!!!
Dad's gone back to Georgia for a couple of weeks or so. The headstone was delivered to the place he bought it from and they were just waiting to install it which depends on the cemetary. They can't install it on a day when there's a funeral so it's all in the timing right now.
He picked out a nice headstone. It has mom's name on it, with dates of birth and death, and space for his when that time comes.
Dad called from Knoxville tonight wanting a phone number. Unfortunately i wasn't here. I called the place where he's headed and, for some reason, the person who answered the phone didn't understand who i was when i told them, lol. That's unusual, really. Maybe they weren't expecting to hear from me quite so soon?
We went to Wonderlaned on Monday and had a blast! We got some great pix of Scooby Doo & Dora the Explorer, lol. Oh yeah, of breathes and one of my kids and his friend as well:). Man that place is expensive! $50+ to get in per person! The food prices are even more outrageous! Nearly $20 for a hamburger, onion rings and a coke!
solstice, since our emails seem to be missing the inboxes--i'm free Monday night if you want to get together and have the time. i can even bring the CD with the pix for L if you didn't get them.
i was on vacation the week of July 1. The weather was ok, kind of rainy and not too hot. Spent a good deal of it helping a friend move. Not a bad thing, really, lol.
i'm in need of a hug. i'm sure i'll get it here shortly:). i'm also tired so i'm going to sign out of this and let the computer cool off & go watch a movie, maybe underworld or maybe even something i haven't watched before?
We were supposed to go see Shakespeare in the Park, Taming of the Shrew today but somehow i don't think it's going to happen *sigh*. Maybe next w/e at the theater.
Whip practice was cancelled because of too much bad weather.
BBQ tonight will probably be a cook IN as well. Fortunately it's not hot today or i would be totally miserable!
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solstice_sings :D.mmmmmmmmm, yeah! Movies, conversation, friends, what more could a person want!?
Sir & i are taking the kids to see Transformers 2 tonight. Anyone see a theme here? lol
Tomorrow we're going to see Taming of the Shrew at the park! Dinner & PPV at a friend's place:).
There are a lot of positives in my life these days. More than i can ever remember having before!
First & foremost Sir!
Friends who like a lot of the same things i like.
A wonderful movie collection.
Having a temporarily close relationship. i get the joy of getting to know him as a friend w/o the added pressure of adding any extra dimensions until i get to know him a lot better.
my mental health has never been better.
my physical health is great.
Summer is here!
My birth family.
My selected family.
Cartoons.
i'm sure there are plenty more but i'm drawing a blank
Very few negatives these days.
Tendonitis is acting up again.
Mom's death.
Teenage attitude.
As most of you probably know Wednesday was the kids graduation day. All well & good, they got hair cuts (although with #1 it looks like the hair dresser just passed the scissors in the general vicinity of his hair!), all gussied up, argument about which shoes NOT to wear (i won that battle!), disagreement over pulling tie snug around the neck of #2 (won that one as well), air conditioned gymnasium that got hotter the more people that were added, empty water machine *sigh*.
i was up front to take pix as they were handed their diplomas. Just as the shutter snapped for #1 a very, VERY rude man jumped in front so i didn't get a picture of him getting his diploma. For #2 the blasted battery died in the camera, no extra battery OR camera! waaaaaaaaaaaa, a HUGE day for them & i didn't get ONE decent pic!
shm_hisforever where were you when i needed you! or at least your CHARGED camera? lol----------------------------------------
Things around here are going swimmingly.
i'm on:
V
A
C
A
T
I
O
N
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Until July 7th! YES!
solstice_sings unfortunately you missed the take out sushi we had for dinner tonight. We WILL get some one of these days!
i get the dubious honor of going to the bank with dad today to do the joint account thing so if something happens and he can't do his banking i'll be able to. Now i just need to convince him to do a power of attorney (monetary and medical) &/or living will! WE know what his wishes are, unfortunately unless you have a medical PA they don't often listen to you unless you're next of kin! Yes, i know, i'm next of kin. i just don't want any hard feelings from the brother in that respect if i can possibly avoid it! i don't even really need to convince him so much as light some dynamite under him so he'll get it in gear and DO it!
i'm hoping to get to the American Consulate sometime next week to renew my passport. Hopefully my brother did as i asked & called to double check what we need in order to renew AND to make an appointment so we hopefully won't have to sit in a very crowded office all day waiting for them to finally get around to seeing us! If he hasn't called i will, #1. kick his a$$ from here to kingdom come for NOT doing it since it is so very important if we want to be able to ever go back into the states & #2 call myself later today! i wanted him to do it earlier this week for the appointment because they will be closed next Wednesday for Canada Day and probably next Friday for Independence Day. The next POSSIBLE time i can go, without taking time off work, is the Friday of Labor Day weekend *sigh*.
i'm thinking a shower might just cool me off enough to be able to fall asleep. Here's hoping.
Two months on Sunday. That's when mom died. Things are still chugging along. i'm still dealing with it the same as ever, or not dealing, depending on how you look at it. It's amazing how much can happen in two short years. It was just two years ago the kids had their grade six graduation & mom was sitting there beside me snapping away! She didn't even make it to their grade 8 grad! Two months on Independence day is when she was buried.
gah, i HATE crying!
Happy thoughts, happy thoughts!
Ya know, you always think your parents are immortal, at least until something happens and the reality of life hits home. That's the hard part right now. Reality bites!
When did they get so big & strong? Where did my cute little boys go? Now they're the handsome boys instead.
They are twins, yes, but as different from each other as the night is from the day!
#1 is the social butterfly. He's serious but does have a fun loving prankster side which he doesn't show nearly as often as he should. His care of electronic gadgets leans towards the 'Mom, have you seen my.....(add electronic gadget)!" or "Mom, i need a new...(electronic gadget) since this one is broken!" He would spend every waking moment with friends-family takes 2nd place to doing things with friends. i even have to guilt him into spending just ONE night at home with us! Not sure exactly what his life time forte will be yet unless it's something which will allow him to spend all his time with other people. Maybe a travel agent? He'll get to visit different places & not be stuck at home (meaning city/town/country where he lives) and meet new and exciting people.
#2, while not being a social outcast, doesn't have many friends & those he does have are of dubious honor. He loves electronics--gameboy, computer, cell phone, & takes good care of them. i have to practically lock him out in order to get him outside! He's gotten better over the last month or so about NOT spending every waking minute either on the phone with his long distance girlfriend or on the computer with her AND everyone else OR both together! He's my artist. He loves to draw, mostly grafiti. i'm hoping, and have suggested, that he aim towards computer graphics once he graduates high school & college. His course selection next year does show that he's listening.
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i spent Sunday helping friends move *groan*, lol. She's pregs and due July 2 so has been banished whenever there's packing/moving happening! She's not happy about it either! Someone's got to watch the 2 y/o! It might as well be Mommy!
i had an unusual request. 'A' wants me to be the 2nd driver while he practices. We're on the graduated licencing programme & he needs a licenced driver with him with a minimum of 5 years experience at all times when he's behind the wheel.
Well, i'm off to get ready for work *groan* my body has lately been telling me i'm too old for this shit! lol. i'm not listening but it's getting more & more difficult to ignore the aches & pains (mostly pains & not the good kind) of growing older!
I*t didn't help that the oldest is an ungrateful child. i don't have a lot of money but managed to get him some much needed clothes. That wasn't what he wanted, naturally. Nothing i do is ever good enough for him. He wanted another cell phone--he paid for the last one but left it in his sweater pocket so it got washed and dried--or another ipod. He doesn't know where the first one went. i bought him an mp3 player for Easter but that wasn't good enough so now i get to enjoy it. i love him to death,, he just has too much of his dad in him i guess.
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On a brighter note: on the way home from dad's this evening it was just #1 & i & he made an totally off topic comment that makes me think there IS hope for my kids! He said that he didn't understand why people make fun of disabled people, that he'd thought about it and didn't think he would like it! Those lessons on NOT bullying are finally paying off! i wonder if this will carry through to grade 9 though. They're both IEP (special ed) in math so there is the opportunity for him to receive some of the bullying since they'll be in a very, very basic maths course which means they won't be in the same class as most of their friends.
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i was doing so very well with dealing, maybe it was not dealing???? with mom's death. Friends have told me the first year is the hardest because it's a year of firsts. First Mother's Day, first birthdays, first Christmas, first year anniversary *sigh*.
i was looking at pictures tonight & couldn't hardly keep from crying. Even now the tears are trying to fall. They will fall, once i'm in the bedroom where my son can't see. He's been doing ok & i want to keep it that way.
Having fun getting ready to head out! Trying to pin Sir down to the bed so He couldn't get up! It isn't like He couldn't have gotten up if He were really serious about getting out the door. He's proven He can toss me when the need, or want, arises.
Driving to the reservation for smokes, not so good but still a nice day for a drive. i don't like driving, never have. it makes me super tired so i'm pretty useless when i'm finally done. Three hours round trip *sigh*
Poly Picnic! YES! Got there a full two hours before most of the others so it was just the two families, minus one of mine who 'gets bored' at these things. A great time was had by all:). A group of some of my favoritest people in the whole world! What's not to love?
How son can get bored AT A PARK! is beyond me in many respects. He's been at the stage for quite a while now where he just doesn't want to spend time with me. i have to guilt him into even saying here for a night, lol.
Supper with dad. Just relaxing, talking, watching TV, yeah, that's what i needed, i think.
Sitting here now while Sir is taking a nap....someone hasn't been sleeping well this week so is trying to make up for it maybe???
Yesterday was just as busy, only i did less driving and still ended up having a lot of fun:). Another group of friends, with kids, over for dinner & taped PPV. Weekends are always busy. That's when i'm more likely to have a vehicle so it's when i can get the majority of my driving around and errands done that can't, or are harder to do, be done via transit. Things like groceries. Kinda hard carrying $200 +/- home on the bus! Even with help! lol
Some days i just totally love my life! :D
( Read more... )
The kids are away on their grade 8 class trip for the rest of the week! YES! Their first time going to camp and they were phyched!
i'm not going to be on long tonight. i have Valkyrie to watch! It goes back to the rental place tomorrow so HAS to be watched tonight:(. i've also got to sew some buttons back on Sir's works jackets, lol. He's lost, well, actually it came off and He managed to retrieve two of them, three buttons in less than two weeks! Guess the other buttons need to be reinforced as well so they don't end up coming off as well.
i'm still on cloud 9, although i'm slowly making my way back to reality *sigh* *damn* . i wanna stay all floaty like.
The weather's been kind of cool the last few days:(. Great for sleeping though:).
Work is confusing as heck lately. They've called people back from lay off yet one of our major buyers has closed its doors! We're talking 50% or better they bought from us! i don't know what to think, actually. i'm just hoping they'll make it till the end of August when i'll have 20 years in so will have a slightly better package than what i have right now. Right now i would get 1.5 weeks per year worked if they were to shut the doors. At 20 years i get 2 weeks per year worked. That's 28.5 weeks compared to 40 weeks! Big difference!
i've been idly thinking about going back to school but i have absolutely NO idea what i want to be when i grow up, lol. i've been with the same company, doing the same basic thing for so long that i'm scared to have to go back out and look for another job.
i've got a passing interest in quality control, i'm good at colours and stuff like that, i just suck at the math end of things. i LOVE archieoogly (archeology for those who don't watch The Flintstones). Unfortunately i don't think my body could handle the really in depth stuff. Way back when i did train as a legal secretary so i would probably only have to brush up on my latin/legal terminology and a few other things if i were to go that way.
Well, i'm off to go watch my movie!
i was excited.
A picked up on it almost immediately, me, not so much. Sir, He had to work yesterday so didn't see much of me until afterward.
It was a combination of pre-party euphoria and.....wait for it.....a very exciting time in our lives....i was OFFICIALLY COLLARED YESTERDAY!
Doing the happy dance!
The euphoria has gone to the place where all euphoria goes now & i'm back to normal.
i do have a question though, one we were talking about on the way home last night, once which i hadn't considered when we temporarily closed the relationship last month. Does scening with others constitute cheating on your partner?
In my mind it doesn't because, for me, sex doesn't equal scening and scening doesn't equal sex. For me they are totally separate entities.
i'll get back to this later since i now have to get ready for work *sigh*
So, bear with me while i use this small screen, smaller print & no colours!
The weather has been absolutely beautiful the last few days! Coolish in the emornings so i can wake up on the way to work, lol, then warming up through the day. i go to work wearing jeans and come home wearing shorts, lol.
We went shopping last night. i didn't think i was going to make it out of there alive! i think we were there for at least 3 hours! owwwwwwwwwwwww, my feet & hips! We were looking for an outfit to go with an odd coloured pair of boots for Sunday night. We found some stuff, a whole cart full of stuff! Most of it either didn't fit or didn't look right *sigh*. We did come out of there with a really awesome skirt though, as well as some trouser sox (i DESPISE nylons & Sir is willing to compromise with trouser sox), a couple of dressy tanks, etc. i'm tired of looking frumpy every where i go! The majority of my clothes are work clothes, then the next most abundant is fet clothes! lol. Regular street clothes are almost non existent in my wardrobe! It might help if i actually had space for my clothes i suppose. i really do keep my good clothes in a wardrobe because Sir has usurped the closet, lol. There's no room for my stuff in there! i finally had enough and took over the wardrobe for my stuff. At one point, it may even still be true, He owned more pairs of shoes than i did! lmao!!!
The kids graduate grade 8!!!!! on June 24! Where has the time gone? Has it really been almost 14 years since they were born? The years have been full of trials & tribulations, fun, frustrations, proud moments, anger and happiness as well.
Wow!!! It's been 4.5 years since i left their dad! Time DOES fly when you're not angry all the time!
Sunday is the local play party !!! YES!!!! They don't happen nearly often enough, lol. It will be an extra special night, too :D. It will be our official collaring ceremoney that night! Happy, happy, joy, joy! *dancing around* We have been together four years last month. Time flies, as well, when you're having fun! :D That's the reason we were looking for an outfit, i want to wear something extra special that night.
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This is a question from one of my e-groups and has nothing to do with Sir & i. How do you deal if you've lost respect for your Dominant? What are the steps you would take, how would you go about talking with Him/Her about it?
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It's been a little over a month since Mom died. Everything's going good so far. Since we got home i've barely shed a tear & that worries me, a lot! i know it will happen, i just wish there was something i could do to move the process along. Yeah, i know, grief takes it's own sweet time & will probably hit at the worst possible moment.
Dancing in the morning! A first for me since i'm NOT known for my sense of rhythm! lol A friend is going with me since it's women only & i think Sir's looking forward to it, actually, since this is His first full day off from BOTH jobs in at least three weeks. He doesn't get much time to just relaxate. Wellllllllll, except for the two or three hours AFTER i fall asleep at night, lol, and He's not ready for bed yet since He gets to sleep for three, minimum, hours AFTER i get up!
Days again next week! YES!!!!! For some reason this just now dawned on me, go figure! Three weeks in a row! Oh my, that also means we don't have to leave the play party early so i can get my sorry ass to work! YAY ME!
A whole ten days off work coming soon. My last day is the 25th and i don't go back until July 6! We're not doing anything special but i am planning on enjoying the time of to the hilt.
The kids birthday is also coming up on the 29th, they'll be 14!!!! Not sure what to get them yet. #1 has asked for a new cell phone or an i-pod shuffle. No to both btw. The cell phone he had he managed to wash AND dry and rarely used it. The ipod--yeah, that would be the 4th mp3 player. The first one he didn't like so wouldn't use it, i used it instead until i some how lost it. The second one, an ipod, he managed to lose in less than a year. The third one wasn't what he wanted, i didn't have the music he likes (he also has TWO gift cards to download music which he got at Christmas & hasn't used yet) so, once again, i profit from his lack of abaility to appreciate what he does get.
#2 doesn't know what he wants but is always happy with what he gets. Even if it isn't exactly the brand he wants..
| Your Life is Deeply Satisfying |
 You make sure to what you're passionate about. You don't waste any moments. You surround yourself with people you cherish. There is a lot of love in your life. You are thankful for everything you have. You don't take anything for granted. |
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